Divorce is a sad, confusing and stressful experience for children of any age. They know that things will be different now that mom and dad will be separating, but not knowing exactly how different it is going to be is frightening. In fact adjusting to it can take plenty of time that sometimes children tend to become very affected emotionally and psychologically. If you and your spouse wants the divorce process to be smooth without hurting your children, you need to be prepared on how you both intend to handle the divorce. Always remember that your children’s needs come first before yours.
It is the parents responsibility to explain the situation to their children. As such, your children will also expect you to explain what is going on because they keep seeing dad sleeping on the couch and not in the bedroom. They will see the tension between you and your spouse and they will also hear you constantly discussing the divorce with your lawyer. The last thing you will want is your children being left out in the dark and confused. However, your own pain and problems must be put aside for the sake of your children. You and your spouse will have to team up despite the reason for your divorce and to avoid blame. So what do you tell your children?
Tell The Truth – Your children are entitled to know why you are getting a divorce. Just be honest and be simple in your explanations.
Tell Them How Much You Love Them – A simple ‘I love you’ will mean a lot to your children. Tell them how much you love them and care for them no matter what and they will still have you as their parent supporting them along the way.
Discuss The Changes – Allow your children to ask you questions about the divorce and the changes. Let them know that while there will be some changes, there are other things that will not change.
Be aware that younger children will need less detail and will do with a simple explanation while older children may need more. Logistical information may also be needed such as changes with living arrangements, activities or with school.
As you prepare yourself for the divorce process, you must look for a professional who has had years of experience in practicing family and divorce law. You must also look into your financial standing as well as your spouse. The distribution of marital assets as well as debts are a part of the divorce process and both of you have to share it. It is also important that you do not leave the house you share with your spouse until the divorce has been settled. No matter how difficult that may be, this is for your own benefit as well as your children. It will be a very stressful time for your children and you need to stay focused on them and their future. To help them cope, you and your spouse must be civil to one another and remember that the welfare of your children is also a priority in this divorce. As such, having a good divorce lawyer can ensure that you and your children will receive what you deserve from a divorce.
Valerie Ricks is a freelance writer specializing in family and divorce law practiced by Livesay & Myers. She provides information about the divorce process, how it affects children and how parents can help their children cope with the situationThis entry was posted in Family Stories by Mary Walker with